homedepot

Stopped off at Home Depot to pick up a couple of things, waited patiently in line to pay for my purchases.

And no, that’s not the line I’m talking about.

While I waited, I daydreamed about the new Sapphire Rose lead crystal billets* waiting on my doorstep (yum). That occupied me all the way up to the counter, where the credit card reader gave me the third degree:

Is $20.83 OK?
Yes.

Would you like to be added to our mailing list?
Nope.

Do you want to add $1 to help the sick baby pets of homeless children born to saintly, low-carbon-footprint orphan mothers who died, singing, of consumption while serving their country in some war or other?
Sure, whatever.

Is $21.83 OK?
Didn’t I just say that?

Are you sure?
Are you kidding?

Debit or credit?
Would you stop that?

Would you like a receipt?
Do hammers hit nails?

Yes. Would you prefer receiving your receipt by email?
I really don’t care. Can we just finish this?

OK, so what is your email address?
Cut that out!

“Good grief,” I said to the register clerk, “Are there any MORE questions this thing can ask?”

“Sure,” he said, smiling and holding out my receipt, “Are you single? Are you available? Are you busy tonight?”

I chuckled and reached for my receipt, but he hung on to his end.

I gave him a quizzical huh? and he leaned in. “People can ask that question, too,” he said, “So….are you?”

Sigh.

“Does that line usually work for you?” I asked, snatching (most of) the receipt out of his hand.

“You’d be surprised,” he replied.

I probably would.

I came home to the wrong billets. No Sapphire Rose for me tonight.**

*I’m cleaning up wax carvings for my next set of goblets. More about that in another post.

**Correction: That WAS Sapphire Rose. I spoke with Gaffer about it the next day; turns out that their new Sapphire Rose casting crystal is a dead ringer for their Rhubarb (green/red shift glass I used in my Dragon Flagon) in thick, billet form. Instead of lime green, Sapphire Rose is supposed to shift to indigo in fluorescent light, but apparently it needs to be less than a half inch thick for that effect. Any thicker, and it’s more like Rhubarb. Good to know…