• Dinner theatre website
  • Location: SE Portland (Hawthorne district)
  • Showtimes: Generally Fridays and Saturday nights (make reservations)
  • Cost to fill up (and entertain) two people: $140 plus tip

And youse said I don’t got no cultcha. Ahhbviussly, you was wrong.

Robyn texted me Friday to ask if I wanted to see who stole her dead husband. I briefly debated sending flowers to my cousin Jeff’s funeral, but it turned out she was talking about a dinner theatre event I’d never heard of, in SE Portland.

We headed over there Saturday night and caught the show. Anyone who pronounces Long Island,  “Lawn Guylant” will recognize Who Stole immediately as a variant of “Tony & Tina’s Wedding,” with a soupcon of Oregonian. It’s about a goombah family that runs an Italian dinner show, and a missing corpse.

The acting was surprisingly good, the Brooklynese slightly less so. There were some very good voices (my favorite from Aunt Marie (Rebecca Kimball), singing “Mambo Italiano”). The accordian was also great, and Uncle Dominic (well-played by Ernie Casciato) sat next to Robyn and regaled her with suggestions for great Italian restaurants in town.

Lots of good-humored audience participation, some slapstick, and a bit of dancing. The decor was exactly as cheesy as the Italian places I used to frequent in Brooklyn and Syossett, and this was the one place where our tablemates, who’d had a bit too much to drink, could be goodnaturedly obnoxious and fit right in. 

Food-wise, it was spaghetti, “gravy” (marinara sauce), meatballs, caesar salad, bread and tiramisu. Tiramisu was pretty good, rest was nothing to write home about–NOT what you’d get in Long Island Italian places–but OTOH who cared about the food? We were there for the fun.

All in all, a fun night out that I enjoyed.

Tip: This is a pretty clean show, but if you’re thinking about bringing the family priest, be aware that there are three or four fart jokes, some sexual innuendo, and a couple of discussions about breaking legs. However, it’s extremely mild by almost any standard.