On Sept. 16, 2016, I fractured my left femur just above Elmo, my replacement knee, ripping open my leg and sending shards of bone into the night. Turns out that’s what’s called a “catastrophic injury,” which is just about as dire as it sounds.
I spent the next couple of years in a wheelchair, threatened with hip-high amputation of my left leg, fighting health care bureaucrass, cost-conscious HMOs, and myself. I’d edure eight separate surgeries, lots of time in post-acute care facilities, spend a small fortune on rehab and ADA compliance…all to keep Elmo inside my leg.
Spoiler alert: Elmo won.
I wouldn’t want to do it again (horrors!), but it was a learning experience like no other. I discovered the true state of wheelchair accessibility and the value of persistance, met my best friend in the world (Nathan), and found friends and family I never knew I had (like you).
I’ve chronicled my adventures in RE-mobilization as the “Saving Elmo Stories.” They’re awfully self-indulgent, occasionally icky, and probably not that interesting, but on the off-chance they can help someone else with a catastrophic injury, I’m keeping them live. If you’re not interested; I still love you–check out my glass tutorials, recipes, and other stories.
If you DO, this is a chronological listing. Enjoy, share, and please comment.
Saving Elmo 1: I fight concrete…and lose
I didn't see the stairs. Even when I was falling, frantically trying to catch myself and looking down to [...]
Saving Elmo 2: The Plan
Post-op, 8:30PM Saturday I awoke in the recovery room briefly, like a dolphin surfacing for air. Three brightly chattering lights orbited [...]
Bedpans and reachsticks
"I'm sorry," I said, falling back with a sigh, "I don't quite have the hang of being an invalid yet." [...]
Saving Elmo 4: The Meltdown
You knew there had to be a meltdown, right? Mine came Wednesday morning and by all accounts was a great [...]
Mr. Desmond
"You need to paint a rock this morning," decided Selene, one of my favorite daynurses* at The Fortress. "And I [...]
Death by chicken
It's like a horror movie: You walk into your chicken coop and roosters attack, spurs and beaks shredding your [...]
8 weeks: Patience for the unvirtuous
Happy crashiversary, Elmo! Two months ago, the bottom of my left femur seceded from my leg. If I've learned anything [...]
Cliffhangers, clues, and claying around
Today is jitterday, IOW, my monthly trek down to the orthopedics hospital, where they do all kinds of x-rays and [...]
Elmo, Beorn, and the Ferengi’s ears
If you're wondering what's up with The Leg: We're hanging in there. LOTS of other stuff has happened that'll show [...]
The wheeled view
I saw Marcus* out of the corner of my eye, stopped at the crossroads, obviously waiting for us. Kaitlyn and I [...]
Moonlight at sunrise, with jitters
Awake to my sister practicing the last movement of Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 14 in C-sharp minor: Moonlight Sonata at sunrise. I [...]
On the bone again…
Oh....the footbone's connected to the anklebone The anklebone's connected to the shinbone The shinbone's connected to the Elmobone Now hear [...]
The Fortress
"Well, hello there!" she beamed, "What are YOU doing back here?" I'm back at The Fortress, the rehab center where [...]
Whippersnapper
"What did you do in life?" he asks cheerfully, interestedly, and I nearly punch his lights out. "The last time [...]
Room 15: Paying it forward
"Does THIS look better to you?!" she raged, pointing to her leg, "It's supposed to be ELEVATED. Does this look [...]
Home-ward bound
I'm going home. Until a couple of weeks ago, I hadn't so much as driven onto my street for more than [...]
Drivin’ Miz Cynthia
Driving is easy. Driving with wheelchair is not. Wheelchairs are wonderful beasts, enabling you to get from Point A to [...]
Driving Miz Cynthia, Part Two
Eric the Wheelchair Guy wears a permanent grin and stands tall. The standing tall part is important, because his clients [...]
No place like it…
Nikki welcomed me home with wild abandon and never settled down for a good photo...but wouldn't get more than a [...]
Saving Elmo: Sometimes the bear eats you
As far as saving Elmo (my knee replacement) is concerned: We didn't. Barring miracles, he becomes a biohazard on July [...]
Filling up on sweetness, with fragility
"Excuse me," I said quietly to the cashier, handing her my receipt, "Would you mind giving this to the next [...]
Wheelchair traveler…
The pic is a storyboard from an upcoming Will Vinton claymation movie, and it seemed particularly apropos considering what I'm [...]
Tripping the light surgical: Saving Elmo II
"I'd propose," said Doc David, "A very different course." Six words. Life-changing words, words that open up a whole new [...]
Femurs, accessibility, and Utah: Saving Elmo II
Cramming four flights, three states, and two surgical consultations into three days would be a challenge for anyone, but moreso [...]
Zeroing in and leveling out
BANG!! The crutch crashed down onto Elmo. Ouch. "I'm so SO sorry!" he gasped, taking my hand, "Oh my god [...]
Test: Can you spot the cripple?
The look he gave me was pure disgust. "Do you expect to put THAT," he spat, pointing to my wheelchair, [...]