I know I've promised a bunch of you that I'd deliver a compilation of knee replacement surgery information and I WILL PUBLISH THAT SOON. Promise. It's just that I'm having a little trouble developing a new template that doesn't take 9 gazillion years to edit and maintain. Thanks for your patience because I'm swiftly running out of mine. Whoever thought shortcodes [...]
Mini-adventure Mondays: Sometimes you win, sometimes...not. Early this morning I decide to try the new hipster roasteria (espresso bar, for the rest of us) for today's educational adventure. The plan: Order the first drink I know absolutely nothing about, drink it, and thereby learn something new. Given my (for a glasslander) abysmal ignorance about matters caffeinated, I figure this won't [...]
There's a fascinating little video making the rounds right now, on the relationships of 3, 6, and 9 to circles, the universe, nothing, and, well, everything: https://youtu.be/inWnhZp_A-M Reminded me of Professor Tranh and his drangles. And, of course, the story. I was ALL about words when I was a kid. Words made stories, and I was a storyteller, so it [...]
"Gaak!" I said, squinting at fumaric acid and magnesium phosphate and tricalcium phosphate, "The scariest things about Halloween are the nutritional labels on the candy bags. Have you read these things?" "Oh, I love them," said my neighbor Kim, "Every time I'm tempted to break my diet I just pick up a Cheetos bag and read the label. Works every time." We were [...]
Remember me talking about Monica, the Cookie Lady, at work? The one who makes about a blue jillion cookies and distributes them at work the way the Plaza Hotel distributes bedbugs?* She’s at it again. […]
This is me, standing on the I5 overpass near work, taking a picture of cars zipping away down the road. I walked there, all by myself, because it was a lot faster than driving. Holy hell. I WALKED there. Do you understand the significance of that statement? The car needed its 30,000 mile checkup this morning. Travis-the-blueteam leader took SherryBaby's [...]
“Nice rose tattoo,” I said. Not THAT rose tattoo, as I’m not a huge fan of Tennessee Williams.* No, this was an enormous polychrome rose covering the whole of her inside forearm, half-hidden by the breakfast menu she proffered with a smile. […]
“Are you here for your feet?” The voice was shy, a little quavery, and I couldn’t find its owner with a quick scan of Kaiser’s orthopedics waiting room. It was late in the day and the place was pretty much deserted, so it shouldn’t have been hard to find. […]
If this summer has taught me anything, it's that normal takes a helluva lot more time. It's been almost three months since Elmo-the-total-knee-replacement and I announced our joint partnership (heh-heh). While I can't say I'm as good as new, I'm at least 200 percent better than before surgery. "More like 2,000 percent," snorts a co-worker, "I used to wonder if you'd [...]
Meet Elmo, a contraption of titanium and silicone, now serving as my left knee My summer didn't include writing about it, which you may have noticed. Sometimes your summers are lazy, where you spend your days in a hammock, listening to the ice melt in your lemonade. You can write about that. Or renovation summers, where the whine of the [...]
